MLB

These Athletes Simply Can’t Control Themselves

On Saturday night, Marcin Gortat was having some fun on twitter talking about signing up for a Brazzers account.  Athletes in general are some of the horniest guys on the planet.  These guys are constantly traveling, constantly being approached by beautiful women, and more often than not, they are stinging the beforementioned beautiful women.  Some of the horn dogs just can’t seem to keep a lid on their “sexcapades”

Greg Oden and Brett Favre

Sending dick pics is a power move.  When a man sends a dick pic to a chick then there isn’t much that can really be taken other than “This hog is yours for the taking, baby.” When a famous athlete sends a dick pic to a female, especially a female who is not that athlete’s significant other, then she just has to hear a cash register opening up in her head.  The only difference between these two aspiring photographers is that Favre was dumb enough to send his dong to a pretty little game day host for the Jets.

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Chipper Jones

As mentioned, athletes go out and they are getting approached by beautiful women.  This also includes bartenders, waitresses, etc.  In the late 90’s Chipper came out and admitted to having an 18 month affair with a Hooters waitress from Florida when he was at Spring Training.  This fling just so happened to produce a little curtain climber for the former third baseman.  Next time, just ask for Gortat’s Brazzers login.

Eugene Robinson

This former safety for the Atlanta Falcons was caught soliciting oral sex from an undercover officer on the eve of Super Bowl XXXIII.  What made this incident worse for Eugene is giving up an 80-yard touchdown pass to Rod Smith during the game which Atlanta went and lost to the Broncos.  Is looking for a hummy from a pro such a bad thing the night before one of the biggest games of this guy’s life?  No way.  He just needed to relax. It’s not like Eugene Robinson was a bad guy.  That same season, he was given the Bart Starr award for having high moral character.

Ronaldo

Ronaldo

When you’re one of the greatest soccer players to ever set foot on the pitch (just learned that it was a pitch during the World Cup), then you are entitled to pull as many females out of the club and take them back to your hotel room for a little after hours.  The thing with that is make sure these females are in fact females.  In 2008, Ronaldo pulled three females out of club in Rio De Janeiro and brought them back to his hotel.  The four of them got back, Ronaldo found out they were dudes, damage control ensued.  Two of the transformers agreed to the payout Ronaldo offered but the third decided to extort the soccer legend which led to a fight breaking out in the hotel.  Just boys being boys I guess.

Minnesota Vikings

During their bye week in 2005, various players from the Minnesota Vikings decided to rent a couple boats and fly in a whole ton of prostitutes from Florida and Atlanta. All in all, there were about 90 people on 2 boats with 17 players from the Vikings in attendance.  This cruise on Lake Minnetonka has been labeled the “Love Boat Scandal” because of the all the receiving these prostitutes were seeing in their tight ends.  Some guys play golf, some guys spend their bye week with their families, and others fly in prostitutes and have a floating orgy.  NFL will always be king.

Rick Pitino

Poor Rick Pitino.  Louisville’s head hoops coach was caught running around on his wife back in 2003 with a waitress at some restaurant.  Now, what makes this a bit more embarrassing is that Coach was charged with a 15-second violation.  This broad had to of been a dime piece, a virgin, or both.  15 seconds!?!?!?!? Well, coach had the last laugh with sending this tramp off to the clink for 7 years for extortion.

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