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Josh Shaw Is In Fact a Complete Moron

After all football questions were addressed in Steve Sarkisian’s presser today, the reporters tried getting the dirt. Reports have surfaced that USC has been receiving phone calls questioning the authenticity of Josh Shaw’s heroic story of saving his drowning 7-year old cousin.  Why, Josh, why!? Here we try to give you all the credit in the world for doing the right thing and you totally take a shit on us.  Word is Shaw was escaping LAPD from a domestic abuse call he was a suspect in.  What makes this story better is that it wasn’t a second story balcony Shaw jumped from, it was a third story balcony.  Who the fuck this guy think he is? Spiderman?  Sure we’ve all stood on a third floor balcony and told our buddy “Dude, I could totally make that.  All you gotta do is tuck and roll.”.  I don’t care how pickeled up I am, I’m not making that jump.

So it turns out Josh Shaw is in fact the bonehead we all assumed he was when we saw the headline “USC DB Sprains Both Ankles”.   Here’s to a long and painful recovery, Josh.  You certainly won’t be suiting up for the Trojans for the rest of your life.

Has anyone seen this chick who initially reported this?  Apparently her name is Heather Brittany and she can totally get it.  Would love to know her sources and how she got the story out of her sources.

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